Sep 172012
 

I took my li’l Miss K to the hair salon the other day to have her hair plaited. When she was done (like most mommies), I took a picture of her new do. Just yesterday when I was going through my photos I couldn’t help but notice the hairline on the girl standing next to her (thank goodness her face is not showing)

How do we let things get this far as parents/guardians? Not to sound judgmental or anything of that sort.

Kenyah was headed the same direction when I used to take her to another hair salon and after 2 visits, I took matters in my own hands. Now that I know better, I sit and watch while they do her hair…and I sit through the whole entire process (washing, conditioning, blowdrying and plaiting). At first they used to laugh when I told them how I prefer my daughter’s hair to be handled…today I’m one of their favourite clients after they admitted they are learning quiet a lot from me…pity I can’t plait nor braid hair.

Tip: Please do not just drop off your kids at the hair salon and fetch them when they’re done. Monitor every step to ensure they go through no pain, no traction, no excessive heat and watch your li’l one’s hair flourish.

This is miss K’s length after a wash:

Apr 302010
 

At birth:

1st week

A few months later:

And then it became too much too fluffy as we hadn’t cut off the birth hair, so we chopped it short:

Boy did it come back with a vengeance, 5months later…

Last week…

Now…

Why? It was becoming a mammoth task maintaining it. She couldn’t sit still while I did her hair. She’s got the most manageable hair but she’s just not ready for those long periods sitting still while mommy plaits her hair. All she wants to do is….play, play & play like every 1yr old would. Another thing like our previously featured Olwethu, she had started scratching her head frequently.

I honestly think she looks like a boy now & miss her crown so much…ag it’ll grow back. I might just keep it short until she understands what “KENYAH WEE, SIT STILL PLEAAASE!!” means.lol

Kenyah & mommy

Feb 112010
 

Those were the words of the honorable former President & freedom fighter back in 1990 on this day. On this day, in 1990, Nelson Rholihlahla Mandela was released from jail and walked into the new South Africa after 27years of imprisonment in Robin Island. This day is very important for South Africans, as it marked the birth of a new era.

Freedom At Last

from this....

...to this.

...due to 27 years spent here.

So let’s forget about hair for a while & celebrate this very special day(which also happens to be my birthday…ahem.lol). Everything in this country…CHANGED.

For more great stories on this click here.  Their stories will well up your eyes.

May God continue to bless you Tata.
Thank you for all your sacrifice. You are an absolute epitomy of humility, pure love, forgivess.

Halala Madiba!!
Viva Mandela!!

Feb 012010
 

Originally posted on Nappy Sexy Fly, we found this amazing story on BGLH. Big Thank you to Ayoka for givin’ us the green light to repost it on FC.This is the version from BGLH :

My daughter has a whole lot of nappy hair as you can see. Her hair is below waist length when stretched. She is 5 years old and of course has never had her hair straightened.
She knows she’s beautiful because we always tell her that she is soooo beautiful. She knows nothing of self loathing. She loves her skin and hair and everything about herself because we adore her and tell her so all the time.

We live in a predominantly white community so she interacts with them on the regular but has no issues. She attracts love and kindness like a magnet because this is what she experiences all the time in her home. This is her foundation. It’s all in how you treat your children. It’s all in the messages you send them. A child should not feel insecure, ugly or unwanted. Our job as parents is to make sure they know they are perfect and precious. Their lives even when we are not around will reflect the love we planted in their souls.

Ayoka with her daughter

As for her hair, there is no way on earth her hair would ever be as healthy or achieve this length with a relaxer. I have older twin daughters who’s hair was as long as this. Their father begged me for years to relax it because he couldn’t do it on their visits so I gave in eventually and let him take them to have it done. I knew what would happen but he didn’t believe me when I told him. Their hair was super long and healthy to start then it began to break off. It eventually broke off to chin length in a year’s time even though they had their hair done professionally and kept it up. Needless to say, they are both transitioning now and never want to see another relaxer as long as they live. Now when I send them to their father for visits, their hair is in braids. They know how healthy their hair was prior to the relaxer and how badly it damaged their hair. Relaxers hold no mystique for them. They will not be begging me to perm it for prom. Nappy hair is fragile not strong and chemicals break it down to the point that it is even more fragile and prone to breakage.

Braid out

My youngest daughter is by my husband. We both agreed no chemical would ever touch her hair. Her hair got this long by treating it the way nappy hair needs to be treated. Very little manipulation. I put her braids in and don’t take them down for weeks at a time. I wash her hair in the braids. When its time to redo, I take it one braid at a time making sure to moisturize and oil to prevent breakage. I separate and smooth with my fingers and very gently comb the ends with a wide tooth comb and re-braid. She usually has anywhere from 8 to 12 braids. It takes about 2 hours to do her hair because I don’t yank and snatch through it like it needs to be punished. The keys to healthy naps are moisture, low manipulation and a gentle patient touch. That’s pretty much it. Her hair is also never blow dried, in fact no heat is used on her hair.

For all those who use hair typing, we are both 4b in other words nappy. Her father is a pure blooded Ghanaian (Ghana, West Africa, blackest Africa, home of the purest naps and deepest melanin endowed gorgeous dark skin where the majority of us can trace our roots because it is from there that the majority of our ancestors departed) I am an African-American with no recent interruption of my African bloodline, in other words not mixed. Yes, true African naps can achieve length if so desired if you honor God’s blessing by nurturing and loving them and caring enough to learn about how to take care of them instead of trying to murder them with toxic chemicals.

As long as I am in charge, my daughter will never feel the burn of chemicals or the heat of a straightening tool. She will always know and not question the power and truth of her own God given beauty just as she knows it at the impressionable age of 5.

Naturally I was amazed by this story, so I asked Ayoka to share her daughter’s regimen. She sent this in her reply e-mail

“People can mistake a well managed head of 4b hair for 3 type hair. I get that a lot and I educate people so they aren’t mistaken and know that their hair can do all the stuff my daughter’s and my hair does. I think when people understand all the options they have with their hair and that it’s really not that difficult to manage, then we will see more of us letting go of the relaxers because relaxed hair isn’t nearly as versatile, healthy and in my opinion, beautiful on us as our own hair texture.”

AYOKA’S DAUGHTER’S REGIMEN
1. Very low manipulation. This is the most important thing I must emphasize for type 4 hair. 4b hair is the most fragile and if you’re breaking it off while you’re trying to grow it, you’ll never see length. I’m able to avoid a lot of manipulation because I keep it stretched never letting it bunch up, tangle up or shrink.

2. Keep it stretched. This is especially important for me because she has a lot of hair and I can’t afford the situations that will surely jump off, if I allow all that hair to shrink and wrap around each other. The detangle would be enormous. The way I keep her hair in a stretched state is by keeping it moisturized, oiled and in box braids, this way it is never really tangled to the point where I have to go at it like a mad woman. I am able to detangle her hair for the most part using my fingers. I use a wide tooth comb to help and a soft brush down the length of it to smooth it out when I style it. The most important thing is to never snatch though it. Be gentle and work your way from the bottom when detangling.

3. I never wash it all loose. That would be an epic undertaking. I always keep her hair separated. I take her braids down one at a time (I do this in our bath tub) wash, condition, rinse and sloppily twist or braid that section and continue on to the next until I’m done and ready to style. I mostly co-wash and ACV rinse prior to co-washing when it’s really dirty. When washing I do not ever scrub the hair against it self like you see in commercials this will create tangle and knots. I wet the section thoroughly and pull the conditioner gently down her hair shaft and rinse downward, loosening and separating any tangles as I go using a wide tooth comb from the ends upward if necessary.

4. Moisture is key for type 4 hair because as we all know it’s drier than a dessert. My daughters hair likes heavy products. So any thick leave-in or moisturizer is where I start on her damp washed hair. I coat each section with a leave in or moisturizer (not picky just has to be thick) and then seal with olive oil and shea always gently pulling the product down the hair shaft. This is heavy but for her dry hair it smooths it out and helps it to stretch to the max without heat. I spray her scalp and braids with pure Aloe Vera juice mixed with olive oil. I redo her hair no more than every two weeks. If she’s rocking 8 or more braids that can be styled different ways, I’ll leave it up for up to a month, cleaning her scalp with a wet rag and cleaning her braids from top to bottom with a wet rag, sometimes I’ll wash her hair while in the braids if it gets to dirty. Yes it gets fuzzy when I do this but sometimes I’m lazy and sometimes she doesn’t feel like getting it done lol. If she’s got her 5 braid situation going on, I will of course take her hair wraps off each braid and tie her hair up at night and use some product to brush and smooth it in the morning and put her hair bands (non-elastic and using very little tension). She looks fresh like that for 2 weeks.

Since we’ve been getting lots of emails from moms who just can’t handle their little girls’ type 4 hair, we found this story quiet inspiring and hope it will also inspire you and give you some guidance on handling that “skuurpot” that led you to a pair of scissors.lol

Jan 142010
 

Mother to 1 year old, Olwethu (well, 1yr 5months to be precise), Kele sent us her little girl’s pictures of her beautiful natural hair. Although she recently chopped O’s hair, we couldn’t resist these beautiful pics and tips on how other mommies (myself included), who are struggling with their little ones’ hair could learn a thing or two from her story.

I never applied any form of heating on O’s hair. I just towel-dried after a wash.

When she was not wearing plaits, I would only wash it weekly with Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo (the yellow one).

Her hair has always been soft and manageable, so i didn’t need to do any detangling. Johnson & Johnson baby oil did the trick.

She mostly wore it in plaits, so usually after a weekly wash, I’d plait it and then later in the week undo the plaits to let her scalp breathe.

Doing her hair was never a struggle like it is with many babies. We had to be creative. So what I’d usually do is distract her by putting her on my mom’s back (she loves it) and then do her hair without any hassle.

When she turned 1yr 2m, I switched her hair products from Johnson & Johnson baby oil to Kubi range (hairfood and spray). The baby oil had started giving her a rash on the scalp.

I cut her hair for the 1st time a few months after her 1st birthday as she started to look uncomfortable. She’d constantly scratch her head & I would sport traces of dandruff(clearly the baby oil had already done the damage)

@2 months

@9 months

I’m planning on growing her hair naturally again as I’m against chemicals on hair, until she decides otherwise later when she grows up. For now, what mommy says goes.lol I’m surely to emphisise the fact that her hair is beautiful as natural as it is….just needs more maintanance. Natural is the way to go and since hers is extra soft, maintaining it wont be much of a problem.

Happy Birthday O

Isn’t she just adorable……

with mom 'n dad

After the chop

Still cute…

Nov 202009
 

With both of us being moms, we considered the frustrations mommies can experience when taking care of  their little girls’ natural crowns in order for their hair to look healthy and beautiful. Our first child story is that of little Tsoanelo (better known as Miss T). We hooked up with her beautiful mom, Ntshadi & got her to tell us the secret behind two year old T’s beautiful hair.

FC: Where are you from and what do you do?
I’m a 20-something year old mother to a beautiful….no, gorgeous two year old girl Tsoanelo aka Miss T. I was born, bread and buttered in Alexandra(a township situated in the northern part of Johannesburg) and I’ve just started to enjoy the u-turn I’ve done in my career by venturing out into the HR sector as a New Business Developer at a reputable consulting agency.

FC: You have a relaxed hair. Your feelings about natural hair…
I have always thought that having your “normal” relaxed hair was the way to go (even though I had the most beautiful ‘fro growing up) because that is how society has programmed us to believe. I tried going natural when I was in Matric (senior year in high school) but had to let go of my dream as   it would not have “looked good” for my Matric Dance night.

FC: Tell us about Miss T’s hair.
When I had Miss T the first thing that my midwife asked me was “who does she look like?”, which was not me by the way…….and then the second comment was about the hair (boy, oh boy, did my baby have hair). It was curly, pitch black and was full all round – I loved it!

FC:Please take us through her hair care regimen before the chop.
Like any new mother I had difficulties in finding the right products for the new addition to our family and I tried a lot of different products (most of which were gifts from my baby shower); from, which soap to use for her bath, which shampoo, which brand etc. The list and variety was endless and in order to get the ones that I was most happy about I had to go through the trial and error route. Stick to what we like and eliminate what we don’t.
After a while I found that the Johnson’s Baby range was IT for us, she had no allergies to it and I was happy with the smell and the calming effect it has on my nunu.
At first I used the Head to Toe body wash on her body and her hair(every two days or so), and I’d towel-dry her hair and use the Baby Oil as a moisturiser. Then when she turned 4 months we decided that it would be more convenient for us to start having her hair in plaits (mologo) and the first time we tried it out, she looked pretty and we were able to have four lines of the “benny and betty style” done. We used old black stockings (cut into strips) and not wool as I believed that wool would be too thin and get more tangled than the stockings.

Plaitting her hair became a norm and we would have her hair in plaits for two weeks and then in pig tails or a plain afro for a week (so that her scalp can breathe a bit). Because her hair and scalp were now more “exposed” I decided to change her hair products. I used the J&J Shampoo and Detangling Spray with every wash and then after her hair was dry I used the Pure Royal Repair & Grow Hair food and the Scalp Treatment for basing her scalp after plaitting. I would wash her hair at least once a week even when she had it in plaits and then I would base her scalp after every wash.

Styling T’s hair was a bit of a nightmare at times, so I decided to have a hairdresser braid her hair for me in the comfort of our home (this worked wonderfully for us). This meant she could sleep during the process and also have her toys around to keep her busy. Having someone else braid her hair also meant that the person  had to be patient.

FC: What led to the chop?
The decision to cut her hair was a difficult one, but it was something that had to be done. Her father is from the Zulu culture and according to their tradition the chop was suppose to have happened when she turned one (but we kept postponing). A week before her second birthday I decided to give her a fresh start and give her the long awaited chop……(I was more in tears than her when it happened). I loved her hair and so did she……even though now she boasts about having it cut.

FC: Are you planning on growing it back the natural way?

I would love for her to enjoy her natural hair for as long as possible, I have no intentions of ever relaxing her hair until she’s in high school (or longer). After reading Nangi’s and Matlhodi’s stories I have decided to take the journey of being natural with them and Miss T, of course……so all the weaves and relaxed hair are coming off as of January 2010 and Miss Ndlovu will be growing an afro with Miss T……

Wish me luck!

Here are a couple of pictures of Miss T’s hair and the various hairstyles she rocked.

Ahh..see…there’s hope mommies & aunties.

 

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